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How do you make a fast, clean break with a S.O.?

I need advice on the fastest, cleanest possible way to break up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years.

We’ve been having issues for a while and took a “break” in September. He had just started therapy, so when I wanted to break up he convinced me to “take a break” for a month instead. Even though I knew the outcome was going to be the same, I stupidly went along with it.

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However, last Thursday he was a complete asshole. I’ll go into details if you want, but just rest assured that he proved to me that he hasn’t changed, and he almost ruined my night, which I was really looking forward to because I was seeing a band I had tickets to for months. He embarrassed me in front of my friends and was just a total dickface.

We haven’t spoken since then, and my texts to him have been very short. I want to break up with him in person this weekend because I think that’s appropriate for a relationship that’s lasted this long, but also he has keys to my house which I want to get back. I have some things of his, and he has things of mine that I need to retrieve.

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I’m really torn on the proper way to go about this. A part of me wants to go to his house while he’s at work and go into his garage and drop his stuff off and get my stuff so that it’s done before the breakup. He doesn’t really go into his garage, so it wouldn’t arouse suspicion on his part before I do the actual breaking up. This would also involve me going into his house when he’s not home to get some odds and ends. I want to just do this so that when I break up with him we don’t have to go through the whole process of dividing stuff up and I can just be like, “Yeah, I dropped your stuff off in the garage. I have my stuff. Give me my keys so I can go.”

But then another part of me thinks that it’s weird to go into his house w/o his knowledge or his permission, even though I know I where he keeps his extra key and since we’re technically still together, it’s not crossing any boundaries. (Also, I’ll get to say goodbye to his sweet kitty cat that I love.) To be clear, I’m not worried about anything abusive, I just think he’ll be like, “WTF?” but then I’ll be out of there so IDGAF.

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Or, should I gather all his things, take them to his house, have the conversation, and then do the exchange? I’m worried about doing it this way because it means that I’ll have to break up with him first and then do the exchange while he’s really upset, and don’t want to drag it out more than necessary.

I’m interested in hearing stories from other people who just needed to get this shit over with and exchange keys/stuff and how you did it.

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